HOW to Get unSTUCK from a Spiritual Rut- Part 3

Did you stop accelerating and assess God?

Hopefully, through taking your foot off the accelerator you have regained ground in areas in which you were missing the freedom found in knowing and following Christ. Sometimes we trap ourselves into doing so much that we forget that our doing should only be a reflection of our being. This also should remind us that what we are doing with our time, money and energy does have a reflection on who we are.

Are you feeling strengthened after assessing God? I love how discovering and responding to truths about God can literally give strength to your mind, body and soul. It is the supernatural working of the Spirit breathing strength into every aspect of our lives. Regardless of how deep the rut you’re in, He can renew you with His truth.

If you haven’t had a chance to reflect on Psalm 46 and assess God, I encourage you to go back and read Part 1 and Part 2 before moving to Part 3 today. They provide vital parts of the process of HOW to get unstuck from a spiritual rut.

I’ve been anxiously waiting to share this next step with you all. I took some time to meditate on it myself before sharing it with you.

HOW do you get out of a spiritual “rut?”:

                —STUDY THE OWNER’S MANUAL and ACCESS POWER

In the first post of this series we learned from 1 Peter 1:3 that God’s divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness. How do we access God divine power? According to 1 Peter 1:3, it has been made available to us through the knowledge of Him who called us. The primary way we gain this knowledge is through His word, our owner’s manual.

Why do we need to study the owner’s manual?

1.       To access the power to enjoy the value of life and godliness

2.       To access the power to glorify God

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who has called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3 (NIV)

Too often we try to enjoy something before we read the manual. Reasons why we may not read the manual include: 1. Take’s too much time 2. We think it may not offer any added benefit 3. We think we already know how it works and 4. We think our way is a better way.

One of the main complaints from customer service agents for products is people calling in to ask for help with their product when the only thing wrong with it was they simply needed to plug the product into a power source. Sounds silly, but what if that is why we end up in spiritual ruts.

Failing to access the power of the knowledge of God will result in spiritual ruts. When we study God’s word we access the power to enjoy the life and godliness He has provided for us. It is also the means by which we glorify Him, our creator and redeemer.

Accessing Power

According to our owner’s manual for life and godliness, we access God’s divine power through the knowledge of Him who called us.

“Through the knowledge of Him who called us”

The word through is an important word in scripture. It comes from the Greek word Dia. It literally means the ground or reason why something is or is not done. The reason this word through is so important is because it links us to our HOW. I explained in the first post I would be using the illustration of a vehicle equipped with a winch to demonstrate how we have been given everything we need to get out of any spiritual rut. In order to get out of the rut, we need to know the power (pulling capability) of our cable. If you’re cable is too weak, it won’t pull you out of the rut.

Over the next few days we will be studying our owner’s manual to find out how powerful our cable is that links us to Christ.

How powerful is our cable to Christ?

The power of our cable to Christ is based on three components:

1.       Blood of Christ (Ephesians 1:7)

2.       Resurrection of Christ

3.       Spirit of Christ

These three components make our cable to Christ incomparable and indestructible. We will use the words incomparable and indestructible to help us understand the power of our cable to Christ.

The word incomparable means unequaled in quality and impossible to compare.

A few words that describe Indestructible are: imperishable, reinforced, and eternal.

Today we will look at the first of three incomparable and indestructible components: the blood of Christ.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.” Ephesians 1:7

Why does the blood of Christ make our cable incomparable and indestructible?

A Comparison of Cables: Old and New

—The Old Cable

In John 6:53—58, we find some of the most difficult words that Jesus ever spoke. He said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves.” This word that Jesus spoke was so difficult that some of His followers literally turned away from following Him. The word “blood” does strange things to us. Some people get queasy at just the mention of the word. Even worse, the sight of blood can cause the strongest of men to become weak at the knees. Blood is powerful. There is no substitute for blood. Blood is vital to life.

The opposite of life is death. In Romans 5:12-14, we learn that death entered the world through the sin of Adam. As a result, we all have sinned and deserve death. In the Old Testament, we see a requirement that God made so that His people could still enter His presence. Every year, on the Day of Atonement, the High Priest would enter the tabernacle and offer sacrifices for his sin and the sin of the people. (Exodus 30:10; Leviticus 16-17;-For more background, I encourage you to read these passages) The sacrifice that God required was the blood of a bull, ram and goat. (Leviticus 16:3) When you read these passages about the required sacrifice for sin, you learn how serious God is about sin. The process was not only very specific, but incredibly involved. It could be compared to a “hand-crank winch.”

Why was God so serious about sin? He is holy. He can’t be in the presence of sin. God hates sin. If we minimize the seriousness of God’s hatred of sin, we will not enjoy the pleasures of His presence. God wanted to enjoy the presence of his people. Sacrifices became the requirement by which God would enjoy the presence of His people and the way through which His people would enjoy His presence.

In Hebrews we learn that God had a plan to abolish the way of the former sacrifices to offer an incomparable and indestructible sacrifice for sin. This sacrifice would come through the death of His only son, Jesus Christ.

—The New Cable

An Incomparable Cable

The word incomparable means unequaled in quality and impossible to compare.

What makes Christ unequaled in quality?

He was divinely God

                “And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power. When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high;” Hebrews 1:3

He was humanly man

                “Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.” Hebrews 2:17

He was perfect

                “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15

An Indestructible Cable

A few words that describe Indestructible are:  imperishable, reinforced, and eternal.

Imperishable

                “knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with (through) precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ.” 1 Peter 1:18-19

Reinforced

                “so much the more also Jesus has become the guarantee of a better covenant.” Hebrews 7:22

Eternal

                “and not through the blood of goats and calves, but through His own blood, He entered the holy place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption.” Hebrews 9:12                                                        

How can we enter His presence through the blood of Christ?

1.       Enter with Confidence (Hebrews 10:19)

                    — You have an incomparable cable in the blood of Christ

o   No one and nothing can bring you into the presence of God- except His blood

The beauty of the blood of Christ is it did away with the need for a mediator (old cable) between us and God. I find it strange that at times we are more comfortable with a mediator than entering His presence ourselves. We depend on a friend, teacher or pastor to be our way to God. We even try to earn our way with good works. Our confidence can’t be in a person or in a good work—our confidence is His blood.

Living out of the rut means living in the fullness of His presence- Enter with confidence. I promise…If He can handle me, He can handle you!

2.       Draw Near with a Sincere Heart  (Hebrews 10:22)

—You have an indestructible cable in the blood of Christ

A sincere heart is genuine and cannot lie. He wants us to draw near to Him just as we are, rut and all. His blood is more than sufficient to cover any rut you are in, have ever been in or will ever be in. It’s already been covered! Remember His blood is imperishable, reinforced and eternal.

o   No Matter How Deep the Rut

You may have thought that the sin or the depth of despair that you have been in is too much for God to cover. (Hebrews 9:14) His blood reaches to the deepest pit and crevice.

o   No Matter How Long You’ve Been in the Rut

His blood is eternally working for you, even in the rut. (Hebrews 7:25)

o   No Matter How Complicated and Messy the Rut

His blood has overcome the greatest evil. (Hebrews 2:14) You may think your situation is too messed up for even God. He shed His blood for complicated and messed up lives.  

Whether you’re down in a rut, feel your feet slipping into one or you just want to stay out of the rut, the blood of Christ offers more than enough power to pull you out and keep you out of the rut and put you on solid ground. The solid ground represents the place where we enjoy the power of His presence and the pleasures of bringing glory to Him.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

I encourage you to meditate on the knowledge of the blood of Christ that we discovered in the word today. You’ll be amazed by the power that is available to you through meditating and responding to these truths.

I would love to hear from you on: What specific truth about His blood has encouraged you to come out of the rut and into His presence?

Next, we will look at the resurrection of Christ and how it relates to the power of our cable to Christ. Exicting...I can't wait!!

I thank the Lord for you all for sharing this journey with me. Please share your comments. We all need the encouragement!

Love, Tammy

HOW to Get unSTUCK from a Spiritual Rut—Part 2

Imagine the scene, the engines roaring, you keep pressing the accelerator, but you’re going nowhere. At first you were calm at the notion of being stuck, in a strange way you enjoyed being there, but now you’re getting a little concerned that you may never get out of this place. You are beginning to feel all alone…a stranded of sorts.

Stuck and Stranded in a spiritual rut…can you relate?

If you’re reading this blog before reading the last one titled “Stuck in a Spiritual Rut?,” I encourage you to go back and read it. This is one part of a series of blogs on HOW to get out of a spiritual “rut.”

If you’ve come back…I’m so excited you did! I really didn’t want to do this alone! So let’s get started and get out of some spiritual “ruts!” (I know…I have probably over used the exclamation mark, but it conveys my heart right now…a little excited about getting out of a “rut!”)

HOW do you get out of a spiritual “rut?”

                First—STOP ACCELERATING AND ASSESS

To get out of a spiritual “rut” we must first stop pressing the accelerator. Often, when we find ourselves in a spiritual “rut” we think we just need to do more. We think that if we do more then we’ll get unstuck. We think, “If I do more for my family,” “If I do more for my church,” “If I do more for my community”…I’ll get unstuck. We press the accelerator, going nowhere, but in some way we have deceived ourselves into thinking that it will get us out of the rut.

In Psalm 46:10, we find a well-known command, “Be still and know that I am God.”

“Be Still”—Stop Accelerating

How do we stop accelerating?

This looks different for each of us. Here are some things I have evaluated in my life:

1. Am I outdoing my being? (Are the things that I am doing on the outside a reflection of the    transformation of the inside?) (Romans 12:1-2)

2. Are the things I'm doing for pleasing God or for pleasing people? (Galatians 1:10)

3. Am I trying to earn my way into rightness with God though things I can do? (Romans 6:23)

4. Do I serve my family, friends and church out of glorifying God or myself? (1 Corinthinans 10:31)

I'm certainly not saying to stop everything you are doing. When we are in a spiritual "rut," we need to stop accelerating by evaluating what we're doing, why we're doing it and who we're doing it for. Then, as the Spirit leads, we need to allow Him to change our hearts, our doing or both.

Why do we need to stop accelerating?

1.       Everyone around us is getting mud on them

 

What does “mud” look like for your husband, children, family, friends, and church?

·         Anger

·         Impatience

·         Selfishness

·         Envy

·         Jealousy

·         Bitterness

·         Strife

Imagine that mud…

These dangerous emotions can lead to other sins as well. Before you know it…the “rut” has become much deeper.

2.       The more you accelerate, the “rut” get’s deeper and deeper

The dangers of spiritual “ruts” can be that we end up sinning in areas that we “never” thought we would.

What do we need to Assess?

And know…

“I am God”—Assess who God Is

When we’re stuck in a rut we often spend our time assessing the “rut” itself. We ask ourselves why and how this happened to us. (I’m not saying that we don’t need to do this later. But when we’re stuck, the first thing we need to do is get out.) When we assess the rut first, for the most part, the focus remains on us.

What if we spent our time assessing God? Assessing Him through His word.

What do I mean by “assess” God? I mean we need to value who God is.

When we look at Psalm 46 and “assess” God we find that He is:

·         Our refuge (46:1)

·         Our strength (46:1)

·         A very present help in trouble (46:1)

·         Unchanging (46:2-4)

·         Dwelling Place (46:4)

·         An unmoving, firm foundation (46:5)

·         In the midst of you (46:5)

·         Will help you (46:5)

·         He speaks and the earth obeys (46:6)

·         With us (46:7)

·         Our stronghold (46:7)

·         Judges the earth (46:8)

·         Ends wars (46:9)

Wow! God is an unmoving, firm foundation. Isn’t that what you need to get out of a “rut.” In the midst of a spiritual “rut” there is nothing like assessing our God. We may be in the rut, but He’s with us. Sometimes a “rut” provides us with a fresh perspective of God. He doesn’t want you to stay there, but we can decide to get as much out of the “rut” as we can.” One of the greatest reasons we end up in a spiritual rut is because we have begun to doubt or have failed to recognize a truth about God. At its core it’s called unbelief.

Let’s apply some believing to our rut!!

In conclusion today, I want to encourage you to spend time meditating on Psalm 46. Specifically, applying one or more of the characteristics of God to your spiritual “rut.”

·         What are some replacements for God that you have tried to use to get out of the “rut?”

·         What truth about God is important for you for the particular “rut” you are in now?”

·         How can knowing this truth about God strengthen you in the “rut?”

Now, take some time and acknowledge those “replacements” before Him. You can know that you’re already forgiven because of what Christ has once and for all done to your sin. (Hebrews 10:10) After acknowledging it before God, praise Him for who He is for you. Treasure Him for who He alone can be for you! Your husband, children, friends, co-workers, church, doing good things, success, money, a new outfit with new shoes, a good movie and the list goes on, can’t be who He is for you. Only God can satisfy you in and out of the rut. Know and Believe Him today.

I would love to hear how God has spoken to you today through His word. I’ve already been super encouraged by those who have commented. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone. Even more so, I love the moments when we see God when we have felt stuck and stranded. Please share how He’s revealed Himself to you in the rut. I’ve left my comment below.

Looking forward to tomorrow!

Treasuring Him!!

Love, Tammy

Here’s what the Lord has shown me in “assessing” Him today in regards to my spiritual “rut”:

God is my refuge in the rut. He is my place of safety even in the rut. He doesn’t change. It doesn’t matter where I go- He is there. Psalm 139:7-8 says “Where can I go from Thy Spirit? Or where can I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend to heaven, Thou art there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, Thou art there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there Thy hand will lead me.”  I believe this promise!!

God is with me in the rut. Not only is He my place of safety, but He’s there with me. The greatest lie I can believe is that God abandons me in the rut. God is with me and I will not be moved. He has secured my place with Him for all eternity, not because of who I am, but because of what Christ has done on my behalf. I believe this promise!!

God may let me stay in the rut a while, but He will help me when morning dawns.” Sometimes He will leave us in the rut for a while, but not forever. He will pull us up and out by morning. I need to know and believe this truth. Psalm 30:5 says “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” I believe this promise!!

Stuck in a Spiritual Rut? Part 1

Have you ever been in a spiritual rut? Are you in one right now?

Webster dictionary defines a "rut" as:
1. a groove, track, etc., as made by wheels
2. a fixed, routine course of action or thought

In applying Webster's dictionary to a spiritual "rut" it may be defined as:
1. Going through the spiritual motions without really seeing any spiritual progress
2. Doing spiritual things in a monotonous sort of way without enjoying the pleasures of the doing

Does any of this sound familiar to you?  I usually know I am in a spiritual "rut" when I begin to have one or more of the following attitudes:

• going through the motions of praying and studying the word without a heart that is really willing to change in areas where I know or think its going to be painful
• seeking the Lord when its convenient for me (not making real sacrifices like waking early and fasting in order to have my attention and heart undivided to the Lord in both attention and appetite)
• withdrawing from accountability in order that I don't have to be confronted with the areas of my heart and mind in which I am compromising
• doing what is expected without participating in His power

For the next few days I will be blogging on HOW to get out of a spiritual "rut." I'm a visual learner, so I have a visual illustration to help us envision getting out of a spiritual "rut." If you have ever been in the country you may have seen a vehicle that had a contraption called a "winch" on the front of it. It looks similar
to this:

  

The purpose of a "winch" is to pull your vehicle out of the mud by attaching the cable or chain to a rock or tree. You can even use it to pull other vehicles out of the mud. The size of your cable determines how much power you will have in pulling yourself out of a rut or ditch.  We are told in 2 Peter 1:3 "that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness." As a child of God, you have been provided with more than enough power for any "rut" in which your stuck, no matter how shallow or deep.

I can't tell you how excited I am about this illustration. It has so many spiritual applications that can be drawn from it. It's the country girl in me!!! I remember seeing a "winch" used many times when I was young girl. It is a fascinating thing to see. These days I don't get out in the physical mud as much. Although, unfortunately, I find myself in spiritual "mud" more than I would like! If you're like me and would like to know HOW to get out of the rut you are in please join me over the next few days as we explore this process.

Before we get started with the HOW of the process, I would love to hear from you all. What do your spiritual "ruts" look like? Please share your thoughts and experiences. It will be helpful to us all to know that we are not alone in our struggles of dealing with spiritual "ruts." It will also help me as I apply this teaching to the different ways in which we struggle with "ruts." 

I so hope to hear from you!

With earnest expectation to get out of the rut!!  Love ya, Tammy

The Joy of Kite Flying

While taking a break from homeschooling to enjoy the beautiful weather outside, Andie quickly realized that the strong breeze translated into a perfect day to fly a kite. She was right. We barely walked outside with the kite to find the wind already had taken control of it. She was enjoying the ease in which the kite sailed through the sky and whipped back and forth. As I watched her and gave her pointers for keeping the kite safe and in flight, I thought of the similarities of the wind to the Holy Spirit indwelling the life of a believer.

The first thing that occurred to me was how easy it was to fly the kite when there was a strong breeze. In contrast, I thought of all the times we had tried to fly a kite when there wasn’t enough wind to take it up. It’s quite exhausting. Something about running around and throwing the kite up in the air only to watch it come crashing down drains you of the enjoyment that should be found in flying a kite. I liken it to moving and working apart from the Spirit of God. Many times I find myself wanting something to happen in my life so badly that I try to move this way and that only to find myself exhausted and drained of any real joy. Oh, how I only want to move and respond to the Spirit working in my life and not to the exhausting efforts of my own flesh. Working outside the Spirit’s leading will only deplete me of the joy that is mine in Christ. In 1 Corinthians 2, Paul acknowledges his own dependence on the Spirit of God to lead, guide and instruct him. Although Paul was a former Pharisee and would be considered an expert in the law of God, He admitted that he knew nothing apart from Christ. He affirmed that he relied upon the Spirit and power of God completely. Do I rely on the Spirit and power of God to lead and guide me where He wants me to go or do I make my own plans and expect God to bless them with His power?

Secondly, we learned that staying away from those things that would interfere with the kite flying was of utmost importance. Trees and houses should be completely avoided. As I instructed Andie to make sure she was careful to stay away from those things that would interfere with the kite flying, I thought of how a follower of Christ, who is being led by the Spirit should also stay away from those things that could easily devastate the joy of the flight of a believer. Paul expressed his concern for the church at Corinth that their minds could be led astray from the simple and pure devotion to Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:3) I can follow the Spirit’s leading and as soon as things get challenging or difficult, my mind can put me on the roof of fear and complacency. If I listen to those who preach a gospel that is always supposed to be easy and without suffering, I can end up stuck in a tree of doubt and anger. I must fly (walk) by the Spirit and I will not carry out the desires of my flesh (interferences). (Galatians 5:16) Am I easily distracted by the interferences of the world or do I consistently renew my mind with God’s word? (Romans 12:2)?

Lastly, I felt the joy that was found in flying a kite that was being carried by the wind. Andie and I watched as the kite would zip above our heads as the wind carried it here and there. It was a joyous thing to watch as that Dora the Explorer kite with its long pink tail flew high in the sky. Yes, there were other things we could’ve been doing. There was still school work that needed to be done and there was laundry that needed to be folded and put up. If I focused on the other things, I would not have enjoyed the moment that was at hand. Similarly, when I am being led by the Spirit and joining in His work, I must be careful not to focus on all the other things.(Luke 10:42) God desires that I enjoy the fruit of what He is doing in and through me at that moment. Do I find the joy of loving and responding to the Spirit of God working in my life or do I focus on the other things that I could be doing?

Just as flying a kite results in immense joy, even more so, living by the Spirit will bear the fruit of joy. (Galatians 5:23) Have you learned some lessons of how to enjoy the fruit of the Spirit?  If so, please share.

Angel's Food or Devil's Food Cake?

Recovering from surgery has limited me in satisfying some of my unhealthy appetites. I won’t make this blog a complete confession, but I must share this one with you. Due to my driving restriction, I’m unable to make a run to Sonic or Kroger when I need to satisfy a craving. The last couple of day’s I’ve been having an extreme, I mean extreme, craving for chocolate. I realized today that either my emotions are resulting in the need for chocolate or that my need for chocolate is resulting in my somewhat instable emotions. This became more apparent to me when I burst into tears at the final landing of the space shuttle Discovery today. I think astronauts and space travel are pretty cool, but I didn’t know that they affected me in this way.

In a pursuit to curb my craving and stabilize my emotions, I went to my pantry to see if there was a box of something that I could make to satisfy this craving. I quickly realized I had two choices. One was a box of gingerbread that was out of date and the other was a box of Angel Food Cake. The Angel Food Cake read “Fat Free” across the front, so I thought, well it’s not chocolate, but I could eat the whole thing and possibly satisfy some craving of indulgence.

I made the Angel Food Cake and sadly to my disappointment it has not satisfied the craving that I have. Even the idea of eating all of it didn’t appeal to me. Today, I envisioned myself devouring a whole pan of chewy, fudgy brownies. From brownies, my mind quickly went into visions of warm Devil’s Food Cake erupting with hot fudge sauce. In an all out battle for my mind and to keep me from losing control and possibly going crazy, the Spirit of God, quickly gave me spiritual application. I have an Angel Food Cake and yet my appetite so desperately craves a Devil’s Food Cake. Can you relate?

I quickly thought of the struggle that Paul transparently shares in Romans 7 about his own fleshly appetite. Our flesh is the part of us that has sinful desires and passions. Paul recognized his own vulnerability to want to indulge in the cravings of his flesh. Even though he had been given a new desire (Romans 6:4) through the Spirit of God, he confirms that there is a war waging (Romans 7:23) within himself. I think far too often I think that there may be a little good in my flesh. It’s a nice thought, but a deceptive one, which only leads to destruction. If I fail to realize the desperate wickedness of my own flesh I will likely walk in areas of sin in which I never thought I would indulge.

Paul openly admitted that there is nothing good in his own flesh. (Romans 7:18) If there is nothing good in my flesh and there is only perfection in the Spirit of God, I must recognize that there is an all out war going on within me. Unfortunately, it’s a little bigger and deeper than a war between Angel Food and Devil’s Food Cake. Thankfully, Paul doesn’t leave us with the overwhelming thought of a desperately wicked flesh and a waging war that must be fought on our own. In fact, he recognizes that it is not a war in which he has the ability to deliver himself. In a response to his own question of who will deliver him from this body of death, he proclaims, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”(Romans 7:25)

Peter, another apostle, affirms Paul’s proclamation that it is through Jesus Christ. Peter tells us that the divine power of Jesus Christ in us has granted to us everything we need for life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3) How can I live and enjoy that divine power I need to fight the war waging within me? Peter tells us it is through the true knowledge of God. Where can I find the source of the true knowledge of God? The only source in which I can confidently access and enjoy this divine power is through the living, abiding word of God. When I personally study God's word and respond to the Spirit's teaching, I am accessing the power needed to destroy my destructive flesh and enjoy the fruit of the Spirit living in me. All other sources are merely supplemental. They will not be the power you or I need to fight the war waging within us.

So what will I eat or even worse what will eat me? Will it be Angel’s Food or Devil’s Food?

P.S. For those of you who are worried about my craving, my good friend brought me a Triple Chocolate Crème Cake. I’m doing better now!! That’s a whole other blog for another day!!

Childlike Faith

I was reminded of the meaning of childlike faith today in a way that was both painful and beautiful. I'm set to have surgery on Wednesday to correct a herniated disk. As many of you know when you have to deal with insurance companies and doctor's offices, it can be as painful as the surgery itself.  I'll try to give you the short version without boring you with all the details. I have an insurance policy that pays for a limited number of services. When I called to make sure everything was set for my surgery, I was notified that I had already used up all (2) of my outpatient visits.  I was told that if I paid the bill for one of the outpatient claims it would free up my outpatient visit so I could have the surgery. Well, today after I paid for what I thought was the only bill, I learned that there was another bill that had to be paid. I was devastated! The poor insurance lady probably thought there was more wrong with me than just a herniated disk when I begin to sob on the phone with her.

It was already a stretch for me to pay the one bill, now there were 2 bills!!! I couldn't believe it! So I regained my composure and thought alright I'm going to call the doctor's office that had the other bill and try to see if they will let me pay it. The allowable amount that the insurance company was going to pay was $333.00. I called and explained my situation and the billing person in the doctor's office explained to me that she would be glad to reverse it, but since I would be self-pay I would need to pay $1050.00 today. Are you kidding???!!! I explained that the insurance company was only going to pay them $333.00, but she insisted that I would have to pay the total $1050.00. I begged for her to help me out, yet there would be no grace. Once again, the tears came flowing!! I got off the phone with her and began to sob uncontrollably.  The last 2 months have been so trying. I'm in constant pain. I get mild relief with drugs which I know are not probably good for me to take. I was looking forward to having surgery with the hope that I would for the first time in months not have excruciating pain in my leg. I was overwhelmed with disappointment.

During all of my phone calls and moments of breaking down into sobs, I didn't realize Andie was on the bed with me listening and waiting. As I filled my pillow with the tears of disappointment and despair, she came and sit beside me and put her hand on my arm and said "Momma, God can help." I was thinking "I know He can, but why hasn't He?" She asked me, "Do you want to pray with me?" Not feeling like praying, but knowing I need to, I responded, "Yes, please pray for me." Then I witnessed what childlike faith truly looks like. She prayed, "God I know you can help Momma. Lord, you can do anything. Please help Momma to know that you can help her. Lord, please help my Momma." I had witnessed the childlike faith that Jesus spoke so boldly and tenderly about to His disciples.

Andie's display of childlike faith jerked me back to realize the faith that I had been given as a child of the Most High God.  In Matthew 18:1-5 Jesus' disciples had asked Him who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. I'm not sure why they wanted to know this, but if they are anything like me, they wanted to know the standard for being the best. If they knew the standard, maybe they could emulate it and achieve the same status. I know I put a lot of weight in my own ability and effort. That is why I become so disappointed when things don't work out the way that I want them to. This disappointment grows into the emotion of despair when I feel like my hands are tied, I've run out of resources and I can't fix the problem. Can you relate?  Jesus' response to the disciples question had to of thrown them for a loop. As Jesus brings a little child to his side for a visual aide, He tells them that unless they become like little children they will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Now it wasn't even an issue of being the greatest, it was now an issue of simply entering the kingdom. Jesus goes on to explain that becoming like a child involves humbling themselves like a child. What does it mean to humble yourself like a child? Children are so trusting. A child will believe you when you tell them something. If you tell them you saw a flying elephant or a talking pig they will believe you. It is a wholehearted belief and trust that they place in the person telling them the information. Jesus wants us to humble ourselves and exercise a wholehearted devotion to Him. To believe that He is who He says He is. Who does He say that He is? He is the same God that spoke the earth, sun, moon, stars, galaxies and every living creature into existence. (John 1:1-2) To believe that He can do what He says he can do. He cancelled our debt of sin when He died on the cross for our sin. (Colossians 2:13-14) To believe that He will do what He says He will do. When He returns we will be raised with Him in glory. (Colossians 3:4)

For me today, I am challenged to humble myself as a child and believe that God can work around insurance companies and doctors. I am challenged to humble myself as a child and believe that if He doesn’t permit me to have the surgery now then He can use my suffering for His greater glory. I am challenged to humble myself as a child and believe that He knows what’s best for me, He wants what’s best for me and He is able to accomplish what’s best for me all to His glory, honor and praise. I’m not sure what that looks like or feels like, but I am asking Him to help my unbelief and to simply trust Him. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Where Thieves Break In And Steal

Yesterday, I learned one of the teachings I recently taught in a very personal way.   My Mom had taken Andie and I to the mall. Andie had received a gift card for her birthday that was needing to be used. Andie, who is 8 years old, is not an easy child to dress. She wants it to be cute, but comfortable. Not always a combination that comes together. We finally found her a dress that she thought she would wear. I thought, finally, maybe a Sunday morning without drama. My poor mother was responsible for carrying the bags, as I've been struggling with a herniated disk in which I'm to have surgery next week. We didn't have very many things, just a couple of bags filled with bottles of soaps and makeup. We couldn't resist the 4 for $15 deal at Bath and Body and of course the free gift deal at the make-up counter. We stopped into a couple of stores and then decided we are going to make our last stop the children's shoe department to find a pair of spring/summer sandals. Again, dealing with mission impossible, cute and comfortable!!  I reach down to pick up the bag with the cute and comfortable dress only to find it missing. I asked my Mom if she had it and she said that it was with the other bags. Well, we soon learn the bag with the cute and comfortable dress is missing. My Mom retracks our steps only to come back empty handed. I call the store in which we purchased the bag to let them know if someone returns it to please give me a call.

As we were lamenting our lost dress, now convinced that someone must have taken it, I thought of the lesson I recently had taught on making Jesus our treasure. You see, I was finding out how much my heart was finding satisfaction in that dress. Not only in the dress, but in my daughter's satisfaction and happiness. Would the loss of the dress ruin my day, steal my joy or even make me angry? My mind remembered the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where theives break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I was faced with whether this was something I just taught or if this was truly what I believed. There is a difference.  How much value do I place on worldly possessions? Is Christ really my treasure? This test, and it was a test, was searching my heart to see how much satisfaction I derived from a simple possession. It wasn't much, but it certainly had my heart for a second. Convicting!!  As I have thought on this and repented of putting my satisfaction in something that a moth or thief could steal, I thought how different Jesus is as our treasure. It doesn't matter if a plague of moths come upon us, the environment causes an overwhelming torrent of rust or a group of master theives break in and steal all of our possessions, we, who have received Christ Jesus as our treasure, have an imperishable, undefiled, unfading inheritance in heaven. (1 Peter 1:4) Not only that, but this treasure, (I love this part) is being guarded by God's power. My Mom and I were so disappointed in ourselves for not taking care of the possessions we were carrying. We thought we should've put them all in one big bag, instead of trying to carry them separately. In hindsight it was so foolish. Yet, 1 Peter 1:4-5 tells us that God's power guards our inheritance in Christ. His power supercedes our foolish mistakes and even our greatest sin. If there is anything that should replace our joy and fill us up to the fullness more than any worldly possession could ever think of doing, it is reminding ourselves of the inheritance we have in Christ, with Christ, that is protected by God's divine power. So, I ask myself, Where is my heart? "For where your treasure is there your heart will be also."